Ah, happiness – where art thou? Most coveted, most wanted, the center of everyone’s attention and the object of all desires.

All our lives, within us, around us, in our relationships and interactions – there is an inherent chase. Chasing that ultimate happy life. You may have heard – Oh I don’t need millions, I need food, shelter, a good partner and I am happy. Or if I crack this deal – I am happy. Or if I earn this much, I am happy. Or if I don’t get a pimple today, I am happy. If I pass this exam, I am happy. If I marry this person, I will be happy. If I don’t marry at all, I will be happy.

Or some variation, permutation/combination that describes their ‘happy’.

We spend everything – our mind, body, wealth, relationships, efforts, time and ultimately our life to achieve that ‘happy’ state – whatever that may be. We toil, we sweat, we fight, we laugh, we cry, we grieve towards that happy state. Oh boy, what do we not do?

I have too. I have spent a good decade or two of my life chasing my ‘happy’. It started young with if I get that Camlin geometry box or that Barbie backpack or if that girl would be my friend or would I get to watch Richie Rich and Dragon Tales today?

Then as I grew it shifted to if I cleared 10th grade with this grade, I would be happy. And once I did, I thought if I cleared 12th grade with this grade, I would be truly happy. And when I did, I thought if I got into this college I would be absolutely happy. Then maybe if I complete this degree, get this job and earn xyz/month – yes that is what happiness will be.

Once I started earning xyz/month – I was happy, ngl. For a few days and then when I spent a month’s pay in a day, the numbers shifted in my mind.

So I worked. I reached numbers I never even thought of. I thought of new ways to be happy – buy my wish-lists on Nykaa and Myntra and Amazon. Get that latest phone and laptop. Buy as many books as I like. Go on that trip. Spend time with people I love. Make them happy.

I did everything I thought would make me happy. And make no mistake – it did. For that one moment. And then back to chasing the next thing I thought would make me happy

Recently, I read about a phenomenon called the ‘hedonic treadmill’. It’s where the initial thrill or joy of something new quickly becomes the norm and we begin seeking the next source of thrill or joy.

It made sense.

Happiness is not something large and looming on the horizon. It is not the place you reach when you get everything done.

Happiness is fleeting. It’s transient. It won’t be tied down. It won’t last. That is the nature of happiness. It is that perfect passing breeze on a hot summer’s day. Learning to just close your eyes and savour that breeze and wait patiently for when it comes next time is both the key and the challenge.

Instead of fixating on its permanence and chasing it, my effort lately has been to savour it as and when it comes. Freeing myself of that pressure to be happy has been liberating.

Accept the happy moment as it comes – no pressures, no expectations, no questions. And when it goes, bid it farewell and walk it to the door like an old friend with a hope to meet soon.

I don’t succeed always but when I do, the world has never looked better. I have never felt better. So as the cliches go – enjoy the moment, carpe diem, you only live once – whatever fits!